Poem Experimentation #1

So... there's an internal writing competition coming up at my school, and I kinda want to enter it... I mean, I also kinda have to...

But since I am horribly terrible at narrative-writing, I have decided to do a poem for it. Hence the name and content of this post.

So please don't judge, this is the beginning of a poem. Copied from a notebook on my bedside table. And edited from that. And I know it needs further editing. A heap of further editing. But I will post the version I submit.

my head cannot stop, 

my eyes cannot dry, 

my heart will not mend.

i am incurable, 

unlovable.

my life will fall apart, 

and i search for a refuge, 

as i am devoured by the pain.

the refuge breaks me more

so now it's just me.

my whole word will soon be nothing

i float through the void of life,

as my heart races in time of with my thoughts

and my voice breaks as i scream, 

i scream to nobody, stop!

and now the sad songs are for me.

i crave to live like everyone else

i want to freely love, 

oh, God, i do, 

but i don't want to lose it all again.

and now i am nothing

except a desperate, tragic mess,

and i will forever be nothing,

until i am everything

then i will make myself nothing.

cover your mouth 

before someone hears you cry,

stifle your sobs,

choke before you let someone in

for you may only shatter...