Look, I am still kinda speechless. But I was afraid that I'd lose my passion for this series if I waited too long to rant about it. And I also kinda think I'm still in denial that it's actually over -- especially since Believe Me is yet to be released. I'm still living in the world. (spoilers)
I don't expect this "rant" to be longer than my Warner essay. In fact, I feel like it's good that I have let go of this series so easily... like, I don't want a book hangover. But I also feel kinda guilty leaving this series behind. I felt like I really connected to some of the characters. The writing style was just incredible. I just was and still am rather invested in the books.
As I was writing that last paragraph, I realised that maybe I haven't quite let go of the Shatter Me series as much as I'd thought. I sent myself a screenshot of a comment on some random Shatter Me YouTube video that contained the reading order for the books. Though I have finished all the books in the series that have been published so far, I can't bear to move it out of my inbox. I can't close the tab that contained the digital version of the book that I read the majority of this book from. The physical-paperback-version of Imagine Me is still in the stack of books that resides on my bedside table -- I can't bear to put it back on my bookshelf.
Warner. I feel like part of the reason why I can't write any more about him -- even though I wrote 1306 words about him when I was reading Unravel Me -- is because he is such a complicated character. Back in Unravel Me, every time I thought of him, I would smile and feel infinite love for him. Now, it's more like respect. I feel like I can relate to Aaron -- and that's why I love him so much. Oh gosh, remember Adam? Hahahahahaha no me neither. Are you sure he was from this book series?
Although I did really ship Adam and Juliette in the first book, I'm glad Juliette ended up with Warner. Aaron's history with Juliette/Ella beat Adam's by far, and though I think that Adam really loved Juliette (in book one), I think Warner loved her infinitely more.
I feel more free after finishing the book series though, as I do with any series. I'd been waiting months to finish the series and search up fanart for this series, so I could see how other people imagined things without risking spoilers. I can enjoy memes made by other fans, and actually understand them. Half of the reason I love reading books is because of the fandom. I love having people who understand the story and everything that happened, so that we can laugh and cry -- somewhat together. There are infinite numbers of books out there, and I just wish I could read them all...
It's a strange sensation, having people of ink and imagination leave pieces of themselves in your soul. When you read something and you never, never, never forget the characters. And obviously I'm a literal teenager so I don't even know what a long time really looks like. But the emotions I experience from books are different to any other. Words can fill you with infinite love, love that can never be matched in the real world.
So I thank you, Tahereh Mafi, for filling me with infinite love.
(Oh stars this sounds so final... it's not. I will forever love this series. I'm just gonna go ahead and post this so that I can get back to watching my nerdy YouTube videos in order to cope with this grief... and I said I was over finishing the series. Well. This was a great time for the realisation to kick in... I'd better post this before I waste more time writing about books on a blog nobody will ever see... except I've been seeing some blog views recently... but they're probably actually just views from when I look at my own blog on a different device... ok bye. I'm not gonna read over this post because then I will start adding more stuff.)
Later
It's almost painful to look back at everything. I have a google doc in which I take heaps of screenshots, and basically do a running commentary on whatever I'm doing (usually reading). And it's sad to see how much this series didn't mean to me earlier, because I knew that there were still going to be more books, because it's a long series. But I just realised that before I started this series, the doc was only ten pages long. Now it's sixty-two pages long. And while not all of these pages contained Shatter Me stuff, most did. There's the moment when I found out Warner's name, the moment when I found out Anderson's real name. The Haircut. When Kenji noticed Warner's dimples while he was drunk on his meds. Jello. I can watch Aaron and Juliette's relationship develop through these snippets. And all these emotions kill me, because it's only through books that I can feel them.
Comments
Post a Comment