Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh. Ok. I don’t know what to say. So this review is going to have no structure whatsoever and um… I guess if you didn’t already know I’m also aroace now you do.
I feel like I need to consider stuff more before writing this review but like aaaaahh I’m writing it now. It’s probably gonna end up being short and underwhelming but I am very overwhelmed right now. Also I would say this is less of a review than it is a discussion of the book. I’ll try not to give many spoilers.
Well this book certainly did help me to doubt my sexuality/romantic orientation less. In fact I kinda sorta half-came-out to my best friend (as aro, not ace) yesterday because of this book (because I read most of it yesterday). Um. Yeahh.
Ok so this book kinda gave me vibes of Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl… but less straight. Haha.
My understanding is that Alice Oseman is also aroace. I think it was incredibly brave and selfless and important that she wrote this book. Sure, she may have written it for herself but it has done so so so so so so much for me and probably even more for heaps of aspec people.
I guess I’m one of the lucky ones, because I figured out my aroace-ness at age 14. I have heard of heaps of aro and/or ace people who thought they were broken, invalid or just had no idea what was going on, and I’m guess I couldn’t really relate to that, because nobody I knew was really dating or anything when I figured it out. But reading about Georgia’s story really helped me to understand those people who felt broken — and possibly prepare myself for the future, when people are actually doing those weird things I can’t relate to.
I also am incredibly lucky that I was born when I was. I’m not very sure about when Loveless is set, but I assume it’s sometime in the late 2000s - 2010s, when the internet and technology as a whole wasn’t very developed. (Edit: just found out it takes place in 2018/19, oops. But still, when the characters were my age they would have had less access to technology.) Sure, the characters have phones and Instagram and other social media platforms, but a few years always make a difference. I can’t exactly remember where I first came across the definition for the word “asexual” (because I figured out I was ace first, plus I would say that asexuality is more talked-about than aromanticism) but it was definitely online. I guess I’m lucky that I actually have so much access to aro and ace communities online because of the development of technology and also my privileges.
That was something else that the book often discussed. The fact that ace/aro communities, and just LGBTQIA+ communities in general, are so white. This is actually a major point of discussion in the aro/ace communities right now, with the thing with Yasmin Benoit. I may not know that much about it, but I think it’s important anyway.
Anyway. I should probably actually talk about the book now.
THE PLATONIC EVERYTHING. Some of the friendships in Loveless were just so amazing. That’s what I really want in life. Friendships like the ones in Loveless. The messaging in the book was so good too. I think it’s important both for people who are and aren’t aro and/or ace. I know that even allos (that is, people who are not on the aro/ace spectrum) can end up without a romantic partner, for many many reasons. I think it’s important to spread the message that platonic relationships are just as important and good (I mean I would say they’re better than romantic and sexual relationships but I’m biased).
So many of the characters in Loveless were such such good people too. The “big five”, as I’m calling them now (Georgia, Jason, Pip, Rooney and Sunil) are all, like, people I would absolutely be friends with in real life. I wish I had something like they had.
Jason is so pure oh my gosh. I kinda wished we saw more of him in the book. He is so forgiving!! Also I dunno why but I like that he has a signature jacket.
Sunil!! I was happy to see the promotion of friendships between people in different years (like school/uni years) and he was such a great college parent. He was also very pure and just amazing.
Also Jess was a great character. She was very enthusiastic and just… HER DOG CLOTHES.
Is uni really like this?? Probably not. I don’t even live in England anyway. Plus, I’ll never probably get friends like Georgia’s.
I don’t think I’ve actually met anyone who’s aroace before… at least not that I know of (like they may not be out or may not have figured it out). Somehow this book kinda made me feel more lonely than I did before, because Georgia was so lonely. My school friend group is very queer, so I’ve never really felt uncomfortable as an aroace person in it (I mean it’s not even been a year since I realised though). But I just feel that nobody, except potential aroace friends, really will ever understand how I feel. Just like how I will never understand them. In addition to not feeling sexual or romantic attraction, I’m also apparently very innocent. I always feel left out when everyone is making weird jokes and stuff… especially since I seemingly have a different perspective on how much these things should be talked about.
I think I will end up feeling more alone in a few years. As I mentioned before, almost nobody I’m friends with is in any relationships (except platonic ones). The only person I know of who is dating someone, is dating someone from a different school, so that relationship is not something I see or hear about that much. But in a few years, that stuff is gonna start happening. I’m not gonna lie, I’m scared. I have in fact been asked out a couple of times and I cried a lot and kinda felt like I was having a fight-or-flight response. Just like Georgia.
Reading Loveless actually helped me to recognise my feelings more. I knew I felt kinda neutral about romance and sex (ewwww) but reading about Georgia’s story helped me to recognise that I felt a little more than neutral about these things (when they relate to me, which isn’t that much in real life actually). I actually kindaaa feel sick when thinking about them too. Just like Georgia. Hehe. And this also helped me to feel more confident about my aroace-ness. And my shyness. I related to Georgia in that too.
I’m running out of time and ideas to write. I’m sorry, imaginary blog readers, this was more a reflection than a review and I repeated myself a lot and I also may have accidentally outed myself… oops.
I do think this is an important book for everyone to read. I think saying that is an understatement. Plus, it is very very standalone, so you don’t have to be familiar with the Osemanverse to read it. At times I actually forgot it was Alice Oseman writing. But it was Alice Oseman writing, so it was amazing. EEEEE PLATONICNESSSSSSS.
Loveless by Alice Oseman, 14+* ★ ★ ★ ★3/4
*This age recommendation is only my opinion. Some younger people might feel comfortable reading this book, and some older people might not. That's fine, either way. Warning for internalised and spoken aphobia, sexual references and themes, references to past abusive relationships and swearing.
Alice Oseman’s website for content warnings: https://www.aliceoseman.com/content-warnings
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