i am not in love with you

i am not in love with you
but i really think
you’ve got such lovely eyes
it’s such a shame
when they fill with tears…

i used to adore you so much
that i saw nothing but you
you were my everything
and i thought that it might break me
and i guess it did

everyone loves someone,
don’t they?
but not me, not me
my reality isn’t yours
i am not in love with you

everything i loved
was shrouded with fear
so when i looked back
there was nothing left
worth loving anymore

our lives rely
on the right numbers
so i count my breaths
when you come near
i am not in love with you

i have not spoken with you
for such a long time
yet i see you every day
flashing before my eyes
and it never goes away

my hands cover my mouth
as i tremble and turn away
because feigning hate
beats yielding to love –
and to whatever comes after.

so we can keep breaking
each others’ hearts
and you will make my chest cave
whenever we touch
i am not in love with you

and every time you see me
i will run from you;
and as you stare after me
those beautiful eyes
will swell with tears again

i am not in love with you
there is far too much to lose
but perhaps in another life
i could be all yours,
little pearl; little star.